Like a magnet culture picks up thousands of popular one liners that become part of our everyday conversations. These funny, witty and famous one liners are a short sweet way to have a good laugh. They can sum up a whole story in just a few words.
Many are created on TV sitcoms, by famous comedians, actors, writers, authors and history. We put together a collection of some old and new one liners that have been savored throughout the years.
Keep Your Build Up To A Maximum Core.
Keep Me On Your Brain Lobes.
I Have Been Cordial With You.
Khaki Docking Ports.
I’m just like every body else. I wake up in the morning walk into my germ free exercise chamber and workout till the voices go away.
Could we number these useless platitudes that way next time you could just say, like 7.
I going to use all the southern food groups, sugar, salt, grease, and alcohol.
I can appreciate a man that’s built like a Yeti and moves so fluidly.
Like Athena out of Zeus’s head.
Put a bird on it.
Health by stealth.
Seinfeld, Jerry, Cosmo, George and Elaine
George – She thinks my stupidity is cute.
Cosmo – You stand in the world of essential delight that nobody could dream of.
I am a plethora or obscuryona.
William Shatner / Captain Kirk
It’s going to rain today but not on us.
Dan From Night Court
Sounds like a Twilight Zone episode.
Getting old sucks but when you consider the alternative its not so bad.
I’m not fresh off the turnip truck.
Oh your slicker than a teflon banana peel.
Oh, shucks and wazoo.
Yes your snippiness.
Your no Aurora Borealis yourself.
Bless you, may your shoes always be loose.
Were you exerting, your non exclusionary privilege, by letting me, in, and not excluding me, when you should have been, exerting, the something that I should have been, excluded from, and yet included in, by your non-exclusionary privilege?
The Dew Carey Show
What gang are you with, the apple dumpling gang?
I’m not whipped…Say’s Whippy Mits Whipson from Whips ville.
Wow, its a big day for the beav.
You can come over anytime, but if I’m wearing leather hot pants I’m on the clock.
Either it’s cold outside or I have a lot of extra room in my pants.
Big Bang Theory
I enjoyed symantec digressions as much as the next guy but this is business.
We clarified nomenclature.
Mexican Stand off.
I believe we came to an in pass.
It seems we come to a stalemate.
I’m very ginger; I get melanoma from just walking by an open window.
She will give you a pulse up on the Electroencephalograph.
I think of Deepak Chopra as a riddle wrapped in a enigma, cover in a yawn.
Getting thing wrong charmingly.
This is brought to you by Monical’s Galore at the corner of Doheny and Sunset, where if one of the gelatinous orbs in your eyes doesn’t transmit the proper electrical messages to your prefrontal lobes, we got something for that!
Flicking the jab.
Coming out of the blocks big bold and brassy.
I need to get that Rosetta Stone app to convert gibberish to English.
Lets touch Indians.
Give it a tumble.
Just a young kid with a dream.
Variable Hop Sing.
Lets bag this hole seen, pack up some jerky and go time-share with Jeremiah Johnson.
Everybody wets there beak.
Don Nots, Barney Phif on the Andy Griffith Show
Nip it in the bud.
Super perfundo on the early eve of your day.
What’s the Birdseye lowdown on the caper.
Winner winner chicken dinner.
Look at you with all the descriptive points.
That’s the foundation of the fantasticness.
Dang that would even make Fred Flint Stone blush.
That is out of bounce killer.
I have a smorgasbord of dinning ideas, breckon z bratwurst, parle vu french fries, domo arigato mr avocado.
Rhett & Link
Your vernacular is spectacular.
Channeling positive energy.
Well, that’s one adjective I would use.
That’s very riveting.
You can experience it vicariously.
Can I get a mulligan here.
Throwing down the gauntlet.
The tension is palpable.
Is that real Italian or just Olive Garden Italian.
Wild And Woolly.
I’m Nestle when it’s crunch time.
Rock the Casbah.
Ball State University Student Brian Collins
Boom goes the dynamite.
Do you know Rex Quando.
We live so close I can see his ego from my house.
You have champagne taste with Kool-Aid money.