Famous One Liners

By: November 22, 2020

Like a magnet culture picks up thousands of popular one liners that become part of our everyday conversations. These funny, witty and famous one liners are a short sweet way to have a good laugh. They can sum up a whole story in just a few words.

Many are created on TV sitcoms, by famous comedians, actors, writers, authors and history. We put together a collection of some old and new one liners that have been savored throughout the years.

  • Olan Rogers

    Keep Your Build Up To A Maximum Core.

    Keep Me On Your Brain Lobes.

    I Have Been Cordial With You.

    Khaki Docking Ports.

  • Jim Carrey

    I’m just like every body else. I wake up in the morning walk into my germ free exercise chamber and workout till the voices go away.

  • Cybill

    Could we number these useless platitudes that way next time you could just say, like 7.

    I going to use all the southern food groups, sugar, salt, grease, and alcohol.

  • John Stewart

    I can appreciate a man that’s built like a Yeti and moves so fluidly.

  • Greek Mythology

    Like Athena out of Zeus’s head.

  • Portlandia

    Put a bird on it.

  • Jay Baer

    Atomize it.

  • Annabel Langbein

    Health by stealth.

  • Seinfeld, Jerry, Cosmo, George and Elaine

    George – She thinks my stupidity is cute.

    Cosmo – You stand in the world of essential delight that nobody could dream of.

  • Orson Bean

    I am a plethora or obscuryona.

  • William Shatner / Captain Kirk

    It’s going to rain today but not on us.

  • Dan From Night Court

    Sounds like a Twilight Zone episode.

  • Johnny Carson

    Getting old sucks but when you consider the alternative its not so bad.

  • Robin Williams

    I’m not fresh off the turnip truck.

    Oh your slicker than a teflon banana peel.

    Oh, shucks and wazoo.

    Yes your snippiness.


    Your no Aurora Borealis yourself.

    Bless you, may your shoes always be loose.

  • Patton Oswalt

    Were you exerting, your non exclusionary privilege, by letting me, in, and not excluding me, when you should have been, exerting, the something that I should have been, excluded from, and yet included in, by your non-exclusionary privilege?

  • The Dew Carey Show

    What gang are you with, the apple dumpling gang?

    I’m not whipped…Say’s Whippy Mits Whipson from Whips ville.

    Wow, its a big day for the beav.

    You can come over anytime, but if I’m wearing leather hot pants I’m on the clock.

    Either it’s cold outside or I have a lot of extra room in my pants.

  • Big Bang Theory

    I enjoyed symantec digressions as much as the next guy but this is business.

    We clarified nomenclature.

    Mexican Stand off.

    I believe we came to an in pass.

    It seems we come to a stalemate.

    I’m very ginger; I get melanoma from just walking by an open window.

  • Dennis Miller

    She will give you a pulse up on the Electroencephalograph.

    I think of Deepak Chopra as a riddle wrapped in a enigma, cover in a yawn.

    Getting thing wrong charmingly.

    This is brought to you by Monical’s Galore at the corner of Doheny and Sunset, where if one of the gelatinous orbs in your eyes doesn’t transmit the proper electrical messages to your prefrontal lobes, we got something for that!

    Flicking the jab.

    Coming out of the blocks big bold and brassy.

    I need to get that Rosetta Stone app to convert gibberish to English.

    Lets touch Indians.

    Give it a tumble.

    Just a young kid with a dream.

    Variable Hop Sing.

    Stay frosty.

    Lets bag this hole seen, pack up some jerky and go time-share with Jeremiah Johnson.

    Everybody wets there beak.

  • Don Nots, Barney Phif on the Andy Griffith Show

    Nip it in the bud.

  • Waking Life

    Super perfundo on the early eve of your day.

  • Firesign Theatre

    What’s the Birdseye lowdown on the caper.

  • Guy Fieri

    Winner winner chicken dinner.

    Look at you with all the descriptive points.

    That’s the foundation of the fantasticness.

    Dang that would even make Fred Flint Stone blush.

    That is out of bounce killer.

  • Si Robertson

    I have a smorgasbord of dinning ideas, breckon z bratwurst, parle vu french fries, domo arigato mr avocado.

  • Rhett & Link

    Your vernacular is spectacular.

    Channeling positive energy.

    Well, that’s one adjective I would use.

    That’s very riveting.

    You can experience it vicariously.

    Can I get a mulligan here.

    Throwing down the gauntlet.

    The tension is palpable.

  • Mike Birbiglia

    Is that real Italian or just Olive Garden Italian.

  • American Original

    Wild And Woolly.

  • Common

    I’m Nestle when it’s crunch time.

  • The Clash

    Rock the Casbah.

  • Ball State University Student Brian Collins

    Boom goes the dynamite.

  • Napoleon Dynamite

    Do you know Rex Quando.

  • Paul Stanley

    We live so close I can see his ego from my house.

  • Trucker Brown

    You have champagne taste with Kool-Aid money.